VIRGIN TERRITORY

MTV’s Virgin Territory has caused quite a stir in social media circles due to the main theme of the show: sexual status, virginity. The network has tackled a subject that people ridicule in this new century. As if hosting shows such as 16 and pregnant, Teen Mom, Skins, etc. didn’t have enough sexual innuendo to them, this show about actual virgins has given people an inside look on the lives of virgins.

Initially, when the first promos came out, I wasn’t attracted to the show. I thought it another excuse for MTV to air sex and teens on TV, but when it did catch my attention, two weeks after it premiered, I was hooked.

Where before a person’s virginity, primarily a woman’s virginity, was considered sacred and could make or break a family’s reputation, the 21st century has turned the word upside down and marked it as something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

Movies and shows like The 40-year-old Virgin, The Real World and Awkward. start off on the subject of being a virgin and then losing it. “Virgin Territory” is similar, except it follows people of various ages either trying to desperately lose their virginity or trying to keep it until a special moment, say marriage.

It’s an interesting concept in retrospect. What turns me off is having someone follow you with cameras as you meet a guy, flirt with a guy, take him to your room and then turning the lights off. Then again, that’s every reality show on TV right now.

The prospect of seeing two people meet and then go through the predictable moments that lead to a hook-up have become so normal in our society that the topic of virginity is looked over. No one thinks anyone else is a virgin anymore. If you’re 20 and have never slept with someone, the common thought process is that there must be something wrong with you. Reality check: there’s something wrong with being comfortable or used to seeing people be intimate on TV.

Whereas before, in the 19th century and early 20th century, virginity was seen as being sacred and important enough to ruin or make a family’s reputation, people now see virginity as a hindrance, maybe something shameful. Why? When did the world change so much that more and more people are trying to get rid of the V-Card so early in life?

Think about it.

If a woman in 1900 was no longer a virgin, she would be viewed as a whore, a prostitute. A women’s virginity was integral to the good reputation and social standing of an entire family and it could affect future potential matches of other women in the household. Virginity gave you leverage over everyone else, in some ways.

What does it say about our society, our culture, that some of us choose to give away that leverage before we even know what it means to have it?

It’s an interesting concept: Our loss of innocence comes with the passage of time.

Do we really think about who we want to give our virginity to? Do we needlessly worry about our sexual status as much as Virgin Territory seems to suggest? Or do we hold onto it until the time comes where we feel ready to let go of the final shreds of childhood?

I have a boyfriend: Why it’s no longer a good excuse

I recently read something that made me think about the way women present themselves and how we must look to our male counterparts.

If you’ve ever been approached at a bar or any other social gathering by a male that has immediately assumed you would be interested (and you’re not), how have you or how would you react?

What would your first reaction be? What would you say?

If you immediately think, “I have a boyfriend,” is a viable excuse to get the unwanted prick off your back, then you are doing yourself and all females a great disservice.

Not only is the phrase/excuse “I have a boyfriend/lover/husband/etc” tell the unwanted male seeking your attention that you need a man to get him to go away, it’s also letting him know that you need a man for him to respect you.

How is that normal? How has that become the norm?

To be honest, I used to think that saying I had a boyfriend would be a great excuse to get someone to go away, but now that I think about it, it sends the wrong message to men and women everywhere.

It says that women need a man in order to other men to respect her. When a woman says, “I have a boyfriend,” they are immediately giving power to male privilege.

It’s true that you could actually have a boyfriend that is busy getting you drinks or standing right next to you. It’s about the principle, though. Just like learning self-defense, it’s extremely important that women learn to defend themselves by saying “I’m not interested” instead of “I have a boyfriend.”

Women seem to have a hard to time being upfront about not being interested in a man. Based off of my own experience, I would say this is probably due to the fact that women want men to think they’re nice people as opposed to the “bitch” they’d immediately be labeled as if they were actually being honest about both their relationship status and their feelings.

Don’t be afraid of being the “bitch.” If that’s a man’s opinion of you after you’ve been honest and direct then it can only be his problem that he cannot accept the truth.

So, what can we do? Own it. Let’s be honest with these guys/girls. You’re not interested. Period. End of story; it’s not going to change in the next five seconds. 

I’ve met guys who automatically assume that if I’m not interested then there must be a reason for it, something that will explain why I’m not taken with them.

Here are three:

1. She has a boyfriend. (We’ve already established that I, in fact, do not. Still not interested.)

2. She’s a lesbian. (No, but I have friends that are lesbian, and will still let women who are interested in them know that they’re not interested.)

3. She’s a frigid bitch. (This one is extremely offensive, and the one that women fear they will be labeled as.)

Let’s talk about the “frigid bitch” label. Don’t be afraid of it, don’t even care about what the accuser thinks about you. Why would you care? You’re not interested in him in the first place, so there’s no reason to worry. Don’t even worry about him telling his friends, because if he’s like that, then there’s a big chance his friends will be exactly like him.

Never apologize. Persist in your acceptable explanation. Respect yourself.

 

I’m interested in knowing what men think about this subject. Comment below.